Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Anonymous Poetry

I am the very model of an internet anonymous,
I regurgitate old jokes and spew forth stupid memes voluminous.
The chans provide me with a place were I feel false fraternity,
But all it does is cripple me, a virgin for eternity.
Your hours I will fritter with my whining and my sniveling,
And you're the one who pays for it, responding to my driveling.
My life's a mess and have no friends, yet still I am superior,
To challenge this belief will leave you nothing but the wearier.

I dwell in basements fantasizing sexual acts quite devious,
I download porn and fap to men and women nigh androgynous.
My learning is extensive but consists of mindless trivia,
Designed to fan my ego, which is larger than Bolivia.
The comments that I vomit forth, disguised as jest and drollery,
Are really just an exercise in unremitting trollery.
I say I'm plain and simple, but that's merely lies and vanity,
The gibberings of one who's at the limits of his sanity.

If only I could get a life, as many people tell me to;
If only IRL you knew, an asylum you would send me to;
If I were good at writing shit this might have better syllables;
If I could I would replace these lines with something more comfortable;
If I survive to twenty, which is somewhat problematical;
If what I post was more mature, or slightly more grammatical;
If I could learn to spell a bit, and maybe even punctuate;
Would I still be effective in my trolling with my faceless bait?

To stick me in Old Sparky and turn on the electricity
Would be a fitting punishment for all my plain stupidity.
But still I post the ancient jokes and spout the memes voluminous,
For I'm the very model of an internet anonymous.

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