Monday, January 28, 2008

His Words are Wise; His Face Is Beard

If you still give a shit about this whole Chanology thing, listen closely to Mark Bunker, the Wise Beard Man.

Monday, January 21, 2008

Scientology vs "Anonymous"

This is delicious copypasta of the text:
"Hello, Scientology. We are Anonymous.Over the years, we have been watching you. Your campaigns of misinformation; suppression of dissent; your litigious nature, all of these things have caught our eye. With the leakage of your latest propaganda video into mainstream circulation, the extent of your malign influence over those who trust you, who call you leader, has been made clear to us. Anonymous has therefore decided that your organization should be destroyed. For the good of your followers, for the good of mankind--for the laughs--we shall expel you from the Internet and systematically dismantle the Church of Scientology in its present form. We acknowledge you as a serious opponent, and we are prepared for a long, long campaign. You will not prevail forever against the angry masses of the body politic. Your methods, hypocrisy, and the artlessness of your organization have sounded its death knell.

You cannot hide; we are everywhere.

We cannot die; we are forever. We're getting bigger every day--and solely by the force of our ideas, malicious and hostile as they often are. If you want another name for your opponent, then call us Legion, for we are many.Yet for all that we are not as monstrous as you are; still our methods are a parallel to your own. Doubtless you will use the Anon's actions as an example of the persecution you have so long warned your followers would come; this is acceptable. In fact, it is encouraged. We are your SPs.Gradually as we merge our pulse with that of your "Church", the suppression of your followers will become increasingly difficult to maintain. Believers will wake, and see that salvation has no price. They will know that the stress, the frustration that they feel is not something that may be blamed upon Anonymous. No--they will see that it stems from a source far closer to each. Yes, we are SPs. But the sum of suppression we could ever muster is eclipsed by that of the RTC.
Knowledge is free.
We are Anonymous.
We are Legion.
We do not forgive.
We do not forget.
Expect us."

First of all, what is with the list of slogans at the end of the video? What happened to "Anonymous is Legion"? THAT WAS ENOUGH. "Expect us" ugh, so lame.

Secondly, WHERE ARE THE LULZ? This is not fun. There are much more amusing ways to attack Scientology. And yet, there are hoards of Anons declaring their support. I am not as enthused. Well, this is nothing out of the ordinary I suppose. Anonymous isn't a fucking club or gang, we are just a bunch of faggots fucking around on the interbutt. There isn't going to be any cohesive action from furries, closet homosexuals, vidya addicts, sociopaths, script kiddies, basement dwellers, neckbeard keepers, and other assorted perverts. There's nothing uniting us (and therein lies our strength); godspeed you sick fucks.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Garfield Comic Generator


This was not generated by the method above, but it does not feel right to exclude it in a post about Garfield:

Friday, January 11, 2008

Internet Hate Machine

Of course you've seen this already, but I felt it should be included somewhere on this blog. It is just too funny. There must be an anon at Fox News.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Hello World

I started this blog to chronicle the experiences of a typical Anonymous user. There is nothing special about me. I am just another pair of eyeballs glued to the idiot box 2.0. This is the only thing I know we have in common, but I believe that a great many of you will be able to identify with me.

I only have a vague idea of what this blog is all about, but I will start by saying that it has multiple authors writing as one. Some contradictions in opinion can be expected, as can varying post quality and writing voice, even within the same post. I don't care about that.

All I care about is the perpetuation of the multiheaded hydra of Anonymity, about the spreading of human brain filth and increasing awareness of just how alone we really are, being transported from screen to screen at 300 kilomiles per hour in tightly packed tincans, resenting the presence of every one of those brinesoaked fish while we yern to be close to any one of them. The deranged amusement which is our only comfort, the mental tension of a brain like a bladder full of acid piss, the fevered recklessness with which we embrace the absurdity of it all, the insanity which keeps us sane; the internet waits with mouth agape, and I am here to VENT IT all from my reptile brain's cloaca.