4chan Has Jumped teh Shark

So /b/ has finally turned 4chan into a repetitive, lame joke.

http://www.cracked.com/video_16271_internet-party-2-intervention-myspace.html

After watching this I'm almost ashamed of coming here. They really did hit the nail on the head as far as /b/'s lame attempts at humor go. Also this officially, finally removes any notion 4chan may have ever had about being a secret website that only gets new people when they raid places.

Then 4chan was teh mainstream.

No, anon, The vast majority of people do not seek out the assholes of the internet.

4chan might be known to people that fuck around online all fucking day long like we do, but your average person has no fucking idea what 4chan is and doesn't want to know.

Shit, I only came here when some asshole on myspace linked to the site with pictures of Goatse and Tubgirl.

I thought it was too awesome to not check it out.

Righteous Eating, AKA Orthorexia Nervosa

What is Orthorexia:

It’s great to eat healthy food, and most of us could benefit by paying a little more attention to what we eat. However, some people have the opposite problem: they take the concept of healthy eating to such an extreme that it becomes an obsession. I call this state of mind orthorexia nervosa: literally, "fixation on righteous eating."

Vegetarians fucking suck, that is my point of view and conclusion, based on personal observations. who does not hate the goddamn annoying fucker when you are having a barbecue, that goes all "Oh, please no meat for me, it is murder!", just as you are grilling the mother of all T-Bone steaks with the most juicy dripping sauce that even god could not have made better. drags everyone fucking down. I love murdering animals. animals are made for murdering by us, for we are the pinnacle of life on this fucking planet. we are beautiful, well-shaped, smart, erotic hunters that are not afraid of plunging into battle with the enemy to reap the reward of a penetration of our tastebuds by juicy meat.

I have never met a happy vegetarian. even worse than them, are fucking vegans. "I dont eat anything but broccoli, because I dont want anyone to be harmed, and so should you!!!" (which is the exact definition of righteous eating btw. you promote your fucking shit, and go fucking bonkers once someone does not follow your regime).

yeah right! and you have to take a trillion of health supplements coated in cooked animal hides while we enjoy the lustful endeavours of the flesh! the juicy fulfillment of dripping meat! the orgasmic satisfaction of it penetrating your mouth and you chewing down it's dripping saucy ejaculate!

vegetarians dont even taste good, I speak from experience. eat meat like every good man, you dumbasses!

MSPAINT TIEM AGAIN

LULZ I'M TELLIN 4CHAN

Why Your Live Sucks

A waste of space. That's what you are.

Human trash.

You haven't done anything in life. When you die, no one will miss you. The world wont care. No one would care. You can't do something as easy and simple as finding a proper mate. You are too afraid of rejection and of failure. You are afraid of being in the shadow of the Earth. You are too afraid of success and glory. You are of afraid of being in the spotlight.

Your fears are overwhelming and they hold you down. You cannot progress and move forward. You can only hope and dream. Your ambitions are strong but you are not. You await the day that brings danger and doom, because only then do you expect to be reborn. Only then do you expect to rise as more than a robotic bag of flesh. Nothing interesting ever happens to you and you couldn't be successful even if you tried. You do not try. You do not work. No action is taken. Instead, you choose to mope on the internet. 4chan is especially guilty.
"That will certainly fix everything. These people will help me."
"See, I'm not alone!"
"Maybe my life isn't so bad."

You choose to conform with this insignificant concept. You live by rules that obstruct any further progression. You are afraid and weak. You have not seen everything but you have seen enough. It is pathetic and sad really. So much time is available and so much can be done yet you choose to continue to exist like an animal. There is no balance in your life. You are trapped within yourself. No freedom, no strength, no determination, no desire, and no diversity.

Hamburger Head Comic #1

Anonymous Soldiers

Anonymous Soldiers are we, without uniform
And around us fear and the shadow of death
We have all been drafted for life.
Only death will discharge us from our ranks,
On red days of riots and blood
In the dark nights of despair
In towns and villages shall we raise our banner
On which are inscribed defense and conquest
We were not drafted by the whip, like a mob of slaves
To shed our blood in foreign lands
Our will is to be forever free
Our dream - to die for our country
From all directions, tens of thousands of obstacles
Cruel fate has placed on out path
But enemies, spies and prison houses
Will never be able to stop us
The people exponential
Come Goliath downfall
One man. One mouth
One Fucking Keyboard.
And if we fall in the streets and homes
We will be buried silently in the night
Thousands of others will fill our places
To protect and defend forever
With the tears of bereaved mothers
And the blood of pure babies
Like mortar shall we put together the cadaver building blocks
The edifice of the homeland shall we raise

Scientologist Tommy Davis responds to Anonymous on CNN

CNN's John Roberts interviews Scientologist Tommy Davis on CNN, 5-7-08. LULZ at the talking head blaming Anonymous for fake acts.

Anonymous on CNN

As much as the Chanologists are newbs and don't reflect the true anon very well, it is good to see Scientology getting backed into a corner.

That video, just like the others, did not mention 4chan. Only the ones actually interested in Chanology will even find out that they talk in a place known as "/b/". Once they find out about /b/, 80% will be repulsed, and the ones that aren't will have no reason to leave. We're in about as much danger as /c/.

When more people are aware of the scandal that is going on, Scientology will soon decline.

Mr Matsubayashi's Bad Day

eBaums of Caturday

I Can Has Cheezburger has become the eBaums of Caturday.

Once again, greedy dot-commers make a goddamn fortune off of taking and hosting other people's content that they don't even have to pay for or have rights to, complete with a fagtacular Eric Bauman style watermark. Thanks a lot you Starbucks guzzling dick polishers, like I fucking needed to know where these images actually came from.

It's this kind of shit that makes me really fucking angry. Let's see here, not only are they taking content they don't own and rebranding it regardless of whether or not it was actually public domain, harvesting and hosting it for a profit even though they didn't make a single lick of it, and now they're TAKING CREDIT FOR THE WHOLE FUCKING IDEA. It's sad, but one of the people commenting has a good point; These days, with all these money grubbing Eric Bauman wannabes and work shy dot-commers looking for a quick buck, you absolutely have to keep track of everything you make.

Will we one day have to declare that original works posted on our image boards are subject to a collective license to protect our 'memes' from becoming someone else's million dollar products? Maybe an Anonymous Content Protection group? After seeing some of my shit hustled around the web to sites like eBaums, I began considering digital watermarking so if any of these assholes got class actioned I'd have proof for my case. Sadly even that's in vain, because Anonymous doesn't have the balls or the capital to take someone like Huh or Bauman to court and win. (The flip side to the, "That's capitalism, protect your shit or go home broke," argument. Protecting your intellectual property is an extremely costly affair, and when someone's making loads off of public domain works you made while you barely have a five figure income, how are you supposed to lawyer up against them?)

MSPAINT COMIC

So, what're you doing this weekend?

Anonymous Poetry

I am the very model of an internet anonymous,
I regurgitate old jokes and spew forth stupid memes voluminous.
The chans provide me with a place were I feel false fraternity,
But all it does is cripple me, a virgin for eternity.
Your hours I will fritter with my whining and my sniveling,
And you're the one who pays for it, responding to my driveling.
My life's a mess and have no friends, yet still I am superior,
To challenge this belief will leave you nothing but the wearier.

I dwell in basements fantasizing sexual acts quite devious,
I download porn and fap to men and women nigh androgynous.
My learning is extensive but consists of mindless trivia,
Designed to fan my ego, which is larger than Bolivia.
The comments that I vomit forth, disguised as jest and drollery,
Are really just an exercise in unremitting trollery.
I say I'm plain and simple, but that's merely lies and vanity,
The gibberings of one who's at the limits of his sanity.

If only I could get a life, as many people tell me to;
If only IRL you knew, an asylum you would send me to;
If I were good at writing shit this might have better syllables;
If I could I would replace these lines with something more comfortable;
If I survive to twenty, which is somewhat problematical;
If what I post was more mature, or slightly more grammatical;
If I could learn to spell a bit, and maybe even punctuate;
Would I still be effective in my trolling with my faceless bait?

To stick me in Old Sparky and turn on the electricity
Would be a fitting punishment for all my plain stupidity.
But still I post the ancient jokes and spout the memes voluminous,
For I'm the very model of an internet anonymous.

Rabble News on Chanology

Rabble News has some interesting words to say about Project Chanology.

Regardless of what one might think of their cause, Anonymous will go down in Internet history as one of the first activist campaigns to successfully use web video to generate a ripple in the consciousness of the digerati, mobilizing hundreds of new activists.

For the first time in its existence, the Church of Scientology has met a formidable PR challenge that cannot be easily squashed in the courts. It will be interesting to watch, here from the sidelines, what happens next.

Interesting take. Don't let up.

XenuTV Censored

Copy of letter:
Many say the email just gets bounced by spam filters. You may want to modify, or write your own email (feel free to use this as a template though!).
-Best wishes, TFoot

You may also be interested to know that the Scientology Office of Special Affairs (their secret police, ya go figure, what sort of religion has a secret police force) has been gloating about this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysYn0Q...
Claiming that Mark Bunker represent 'hate speech'. The interesting irony is the Scientologist account has the motto

'WE ARE OSA. WE ARE LITIGIOUS! EXPECT US!'

If they seriously think that they can abolish free speech by branding anything critical of them as 'hate speech', they are sorely mistaken.

*UPDATE*
The above was written on the evening of Apr 17 2008 (Yesterday). Today the this account (torymagoo69) has been suspended. I assume this is merely the prelude to xenutv1 getting reinstated.
I DLed their video and took screenshots of their account. They will have their asses handed to them over this.


Its arguable where this should be emailed to.

copyright@youtube.com
editor@youtube.com
suggestions@youtube.com
estreich@youtube.com
legal-support@google.com


Dear Sir,
I write to complain about the suspension of the account of Xenutv1. This account did not violate any copyright or contain any offensive material. This appears to be a barely concealed effort by Scientology to censor their critics by an abuse of the flagging system. Indeed it is difficult to contrive that this action could have been taken by anyone other than a Scientology 'moderator', or one coerced by Scientology.

I sincerely hope that you will see fit to reinstate this account, as the presence of an Emmy Award winning journalists such as Mark Bunker (Xenutv1) significantly increase the color and depth of the Youtube experience.

It would also show a distinct lack of character for Youtube to not stand up for the free speech of the 'little man' given that the core of the Youtube's business model is that media is provided by the free speech of the 'little man'.
Best Wishes,

Moar Longcat Bullshit

I stick by previous stance on this whole longcat thing. This is like "raiding" every site that has lolcats. However, this video amuses me and is surprisingly well-done.

Confirmed for Brawl

NEWCOMER: Japanese version of Ronald McDonald.

Nothing fun, anymore

Nowdays I have a small social circle. My proper friends all went away to uni, they come back occasionally and I see them. Otherwise Im left with a couple of stoners who aren't particualr fun so I choose to avoid them when possible.

But the thing is, say a friend who is at uni comes up it's just the same thing every time. We go to my room, talk about what each other has been doing. Usally nothing interesting comes up. Discuss some other shit. Then it get's awkward, I just want to get back on the computer and browse /b/ or something, but they're still in my room so I cant. I mean, whats the fucking point. Unless my friends offer me something that I cannot do by myself then why bother having them come over. The conversations are never stimulating. I have yet to meet someone who is like me and have conversations about the kind of stuff I am into. I might be invinting one over to have a few quiet drinks with later this week, dunno why, I would rather have them by myself, but something is nagging at me to let him come over. Back in the day it was all fun and games, now it's just disscussion and possibly drinks. Nothing fun, anymore.

Mets: Rickrolled

Good job, Anon. The Shea Stadium will get rickrolled, thanks to our efforts. Plus, Fark.com takes the "credit". Less newfags, moar win.

PARTICIPATE IN THE NY METS RICKROLL

HELP PARTICIPATE IN THE BIGGEST RICK ROLL EVER! The NY Mets are having a vote to see what song they should sing during the 8th inning of their final season at Shea. Obviously, the logical choice if for everybody to choose Other and add Rick Astley - Never Gonna Give You Up. VOTE HERE.

Chris Landers Has Lurked Moar

Chris Landers, the writer of this piece at City Paper Online as definitely lurked moar. Included are some interviews with someone ideological newfags:

Across the street, a man in a green eyeless mask says his name is "David." He traveled "many hours" to be here and is staying in a hotel. He puts it this way: "Am I here for the lulz? Oh, fuck yeah. Without /b/, you don't get the spectacle, and without the spectacle, nobody cares. These poor guys, Arnie [Lerma] and Mark Bunker and those guys, they've been doing it for years, but without the spectacle, nobody pays attention. You wouldn't have any fun. That's what /b/'s brought--it's brought some youth, it's brought some energy."

It's amazing to read an article about Chanology that 1) Understands Anonymous and 2) Brings something interesting to the table.